Melton Vets 1 Harboro Town Vets 4
Vets Reach The Final
Melton Vets 1 Harboro Town Vets 4
So its semi final day and we travel to Melton with Chee and the silver fox Knowlesy in charge (just think Graham Taylor & Phil Neal - correct do we not like that)the Gaffer is still being held at customs where he later admits he’d cleaned in his personal area before leaving for home. There’s no Fletch either as Stan and him are away on a romantic weekend in Liverpool he is also glad to have cleaned his personal area before leaving, so the music for the day is chosen by wannabe Trevor Nelson Kris and for the first time but not the last the statement Rubbish Francis is shouted out above the din the kids call gangster rap. So we have maybe the strongest 13 players available today we only wish Baz wasn’t with the Reserves we would have what the Gaffer would call our 1st choice 14. The line up is Lardy in the sticks a back 4 of Neil, Adam, Shambles & Nice guy Ian, sitting (no not literally) in front of them is Scott, with a midfield 4 of Robbo, Rodders, Gaz & Kris & up top is Lil Chris. The stella bench is Woj, Paul T & Motters.
The game is played on a huge pitch which cuts up from minute 1 we’re all thankful for the Tuesday workout served up by the skipper however we start slow and Melton see plenty of the ball but can’t penetrate (tempted to slip in a Stan / Fletch joke here but I’ll refrain). As we start to go through the gears Robbo picks Kris out at the far post who to everyone’s surprise controls it however please don’t adjust your set as the resulting shot is smashed into orbit and lands over the border in Nottinghamshire. With the formation not working the Gaffers on the phone to Knowlesy and advises a change of personnel Knowlesy ignores this (see him for details) and throws Scott up top to prevent him running out of steam before half time and we revert to 4-4-2 and with this we take hold of the game and are soon in front when from a corner the ball is flicked on at the near post by Scott and Rod fires in a bullet header from 6 yards he doesn’t take 2 bottles into the box he’s head and shoulders above their defence a quick check of the boyish good looks and he’s off to celebrate we’re on the way. We double our advantage when the keeper fails to deal with a ball and Robbo beats him to it and neatly lobs into an empty net. With everything now going to plan Shambles incurs the wrath of Lardy when calling keepers for him, I don’t know maybe he’s bored or frustrated with his solitary life as a keeper and feels left out but the rant chalks a point up for chump of the week. Before half time we nearly make it 3 when Kris brings a ball down and picks out lil Chris who whips a cross to the far post where Robbo arrives to plant his header straight at the keeper.
Half time sees Trevor Nelson dragged off his performance is like his music an anagram of carp and is replaced by Paul T. We continue to dominate the game and add a 3rd when Robbo is sent clear down the left and waits patiently for Chris to arrive and smash home on the half volley off the underside of the bar ala 66 did it or didn’t it who cares the linesman says it did and we’re now ironing the shirts and taking the suits to the dry cleaners Holmes Park is on the horizon. During this spell of the game something bizarre happens as we have the ball up field and as the bench and staff turn to look back we see Lardy on his backside apparently taken from us by an unseen sniper or clumsily falling over his own feet (this wouldn’t happen if he could see his feet) Chump of the week is almost in the bag for Harboro’s no.1. Melton then get one back as a shot / cross sails over Lardy to make it 3-1, yes I know Lardy lobbed shock, chump of the week is sealed.. The Gaffer has now arrived gingerly prowling the touchline and his first action is to unleash Motters who goes about his business in his usual style. Is style the right word? Woj has also joined the party and we make it 4-1 when Chris nips in from the left and slips a pass to Robbo who in turn rolls the ball onto Paul T who duly finishes.
So the game ends we now have a final to look forward to on Friday 31st March our 2nd in 2 years no less. The scribe advises now that he’ll be spinning the wheels of steel for the final with a playlist that will include ditties by the following popular beat combo’s Stone Roses, Oasis, Charlatans, Kasabian, Paul Weller, James and the Stereophonics to name but a few.