County Cup Final Harboro Town Vets 5 Leicester Rd Vets 1
If Carlsberg Did 2nd Halfs
County Cup Final
Harboro Town Vets 5 Leicester Road Vets 1
So a repeat of last season’s cup final with everyone hoping for a happier ending and after the previous Saturday’s 2-1 victory against the same opposition everyone seems a little puzzled as what this may have done to our mindset and JK because he’s usually let out of the nursing home to watch football on a Saturday and he knows definitely maybe its Friday. Anyway we have a cast of thousands tonight and most of them are seem to be in the changing room we’re at full strength with all the lame declaring themselves fit to be honest we think if Fletch had lost a leg he would in a Monty Python style claim it to be only a flesh wound! So the Gaffer has decisions to make and bravely he names the team as follows Lardy in the sticks, a back 4 of Neil, Adam, Shambles & Kris. The midfield is Robbo, Scott, Gaz O & Paul T. Up top are ‘lil Chris & Stan. The bench is made up of 6 subs – Rod, Woj, Fletch, Nice Guy Ian, Chee & Motters, also in the dugout alongside the Gaffer are Assistants for the night JK & Gaz W, Kit Man Coops & Jason H we assume to confirm his existence?. Fortunately Holmes Park has improved somewhat since last season and there is room for all and the pitch well if you can’t play football on that surface you’re beyond help obviously Kris is excluded from that statement. The Gaffer & Coaches stress the need to be switched on from minute one and as expected Leicester Road come out strong and the early pointer is it just maybe our day as the first corner within 5 minutes of the start is tipped onto the bar by Lardy and the ball bounces three times along the bar before going out for another corner. We do weather the storm sometimes with a touch of good fortune sometimes with a hint of panic especially when Paul T smashed a clearance back into our goalmouth he ‘ll say it was a square pass to Scott and it was a sign of something special to come but Leicester Road have the upper hand and the Captain puts his stamp onto the game with a tackle that earns a yellow card minutes later a similar tackle on ‘lil Chris doesn’t see a yellow and the temperature goes up a notch on the bench. The tackles begin to fly in and strangely as last year the Ref seems to give more to one side than the other Lardy makes his feelings known as he’s given a battering but the Ref says goal kick. Anyway in amongst this we do occasionally pressure the oppositions defence and they do seem a little suspect in defending pace and from one such precision pass (well smash up to the front man) ‘lil Chris is upended penalty surely i hear you as we did cry but no the man in the middle (that’s where he spent most of the night) waved our protests away. The bench are now in uproar and it now consists of 10 coaches. We then have a bit of luck when Leicester road lose one of their better players to injury only himself to blame really you’re never going to bully Scott and the player ends up chewing grass and nursing a nasty collarbone injury however with about 25 minutes gone the deadlock is broken when Leicester Road create space on our left and as we all retreat back towards our goal the ball is pulled back to the edge of the box and despatched past Lardy. We hook Paul for Woj (a masterstroke but more of this later). We are then thankful for Lardy who for the first time that anyone can remember leaps salmon like to claw away a goal bound lob there was i swear gasps of astonishment from the crowd. We get to halftime only one down but we’ve switched to moan mode as a squad. The Gaffer gives braveheart rant speech which finishes with the line that will go down in history and i quote “I aint leaving with a sh***y silver paperweight tonight”. Robbo and Stan then sort the shape when defending were going to ask the defenders to defend (this would’ve never happened in Mick Nunns day) so our midfield can get higher and we all have to start passing. Lee then pops his head round the door and the lads are told to win it for him. Whether we took notice of all of these points or some or none things certainly took a turn for the better..............
Chapter 2 If Carlsberg Did 2nd Half’s..
What we needed was an early goal and from the off we pressed the ball and after turning the ball over Stan plays lil Chris in who is upended not for the 1st time this season and the ref who Shambles has had a word with at half time about his game management decides yes those nice men in yellow shall have a penalty we on the bench think a card would be nice but as Mick Jagger said “you can’t always get what you want”. Anyway Robbo calmly slots it in and suddenly its game on. We are now on the front foot and are beginning to win the physical battles with Scott and Adam taking it to them. Kris then plays the ball of his career to Woj (only he knows if it was an attempt to control the ball or he meant it – the jury on the bench were out as seconds earlier he couldn’t pass 5 yards to Scott) Woj cuts inside and then curls one into the bottom corner from 20 yards for 2-1. Leicester Road immediately change to 3-4-3 but we stand firm. We earn a fee kick more or less from the restart and how none of the officials see the handball from the resulting free kick as everyone else saw it maybe Shambles hasn’t got the Ref under his spell. We are now finding space down the flanks and we play lil Chris in and he toasts the remaining defender and we’re all now shouting / begging him to finish but know what does he do? That’s right he only squares it for Woj to tap home cue scenes of joy from us all. Leicester Road look a little puzzled as to what was happening and the showboating arrogance shown at the end of the 1st half has disappeared as quickly as a plate of pies in Lardys house. Rod comes on for the stricken Stan and our night goes off the scale as Woj turns provider with almost a carbon copy of our 3rd goal as he squares one back for Gaz to blast home 4-1. We’re now in control and there’s time for a comedy moment as Shambles spends an age to take a free kick complaining of a player not being 10 yards only to then shank it out of play we can’t believe it that he’s found a rip in the green baize of a surface, this with his earlier misdemeanour of heading the ball past Lardy earn him the chump of the week. Paul returns for Chris who has run himself into the ground and Fletch is our last change as Scott decides his job is done he’s battered more than most chip shop owners do in a night and he’s cramped up, it’s a like for like swap! Fletch cops a rant from the gaffer even though the games not restarted it’s always good to give Fletch a wakeup call as he’s so laid back. Anyway our night is topped off when after Kris gets away with a blatant hand ball in our area we clear our lines to Paul who tries a speculative effort from outside the box but before we can all moan at him for not taking the ball to the corner he’s smashed the rebound off the defender on the volley into the top corner. Moments later the ref blows up and we’re off celebrating some of us longer into the night than is recommended for men of our age but it’s not every day you win a CUP FINAL.
Suggested tunes as follows.....